Definition of Love:
Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy.
You expect it to be a world of roses & laughs
& perfect moments that you find only in movies.
You expect her/him to always say the right thing,
& always know exactly how you feel,
or exactly how to react to it.
You expect them to calm you down when
you're yelling or to chase you when you run away.
You expect so much that you feel entirely,
& utterly defeated when something doesn't
exactly match up with all your plans.
But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan.
It doesn't have a certain beginning & it
certainly has no end or visible finish line
to those deeply in it.
Love happens; it is so incredibly messy.
People around you can't comprehend
why you do the things you do,
or why you fight so hard for something
that seems to cause you so much pain,
because simply, they can't see.
They can't see the invisible ring of insanity
that surrounds you when you're in love.
It's inconvenient & painful & devastating
at times, but we can't live without it.
What you don't learn is how hard love is.
How much work it takes.
How much of ourselves we have to put into it.
How it isn't worth it until we are
complete & utter idiots about it.
Love isn't about them calming you down when you yell.
It's them yelling, just as loud, just as hard,
right back at you, right in your face to wake you up
& to keep you grounded.
It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday
or cute things that make your relationship
appear more presentable.
It's after a long fight, that drains the life
& bones right out of you both, &
yet them showing up at your door the next morning anyway.
It's not them saying all the right things
or knowing exactly how to handle you.
So no, it's not them caressing your hair
& telling you that everything is going to be alright.
It's them standing there, admitting they're
just as scared as you are.
You have to remember that with love,
you're not the only one involved.
You've unknowingly put your life,
your heart into the palms of another
person's hands and said, "Here.
Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat.
Or forget I ever handed it to you.
As long as you have it."
It makes us crazy. It makes reality
invisible & erases all the lines
we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't
about fencing ourselves in;
feeling safe, feeling sure about the future.
It's about scaring the shit out of every
nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway.
Because all the fighting and all the tears
and all the uncertainty is worth it.
And it's a hell of a lot better, than
being 100% happy without someone to
show us that there is a world of a
difference between feeling 'happy'
and feeling whole.
I can't tell it's over because to me it will never be over.
There will always be something between us
that I can't explain no matter how hard I try.
I tell myself that if I ever get a second chance,
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