baby, it's cold outside

my baby sis is home & Star Wars marathon is on TV!!!!!!!!!!!

couldn't ask for anything better on Christmas Eve :)

i wanna be a jedi so freakin' bad...

i was also thinking that i'm gonna start talking like Yoda too

hahahahahaha!

still want to see TRON, ugh jorge!

dinner soon, off to work on my business cards & play some guitar maybe?

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

please, please drive safe!

can't believe it's been a year...

R.I.P.

05/07/87-12/24/09 i still remember getting that phone call early Christmas Eve... miss you Robbie <3

have faith, restart

"But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable."

it's okay. it's okay to want someone you can't have. it's okay to want something more.

it's okay to cry when you're hurt & it's okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you.

Believe it or not, it's always going to be okay.

That's just how it works. Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to, and most of the time, it seems like they never will.

But eventually, everything is going to iron out some way or another.

You just have to believe, keep your faith, and move on.

Love taught me I could have feelings I have never felt before.

Losing taught me to hold onto something good if I find it.

Living taught me to never regret anything because at that very moment,

it seemed right.

in the end, some of your greatest

pains become your greatest strengths.

you reminded me when i forgot just how truly special i am

& for that, I thank you.

even though you guys drove me crazy, y'all also kept me sane & distracted. i wouldn't trade the past 3-4 months for anything. what beautiful friendships have formed.

i am so PROUD.

LOVE YOU GUYS!

what would i do without you?

I CARRY YOU WITH ME

I will carry you with me everyday for the rest of my life. I fought it at first, but I have to accept it as a phase of life. No matter how hard I push away your memory, it remains seared in my mind. Even when the pain subsides and I drift into a peaceful haze, you are always there, in the back of my mind, waiting to pop up when I least want you to. You are the reason I can't sleep. The reason I wake up screaming. The reason I feel so alone. But at the same time, you gave me something nobody else could. You gave me a strength that I couldn't have gained any other way. Because of you, I have seen the worst parts of people, seen the worst of what humans are capable of. And I'm still here. Because of you, I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. Because of you, I can take risks, because I have nothing to lose. Because I have lost everything and came back. Because you did not kill me, you only made me stronger, and nobody will ever do to me what you did again. I am the bone that has been broken. At the very point where I was once weakest, I am now strongest. So thank you. I will hate you for the rest of my life with every fiber of my being, never doubt that. But you showed me what I am capable of, & if I ever start to doubt it, I only think of you. As much as it hurts, I will never let your memory leave me, because it makes me who I am. It gives me strength for myself and others, and that strength is not something I am willing to give up, even though it is tied to people I want so desperately to forget. You may have changed me, but I took that change & made it my own. I owned it and will continue to own it until there is not a single part of you left in it. Only me. You did not win. You will never win. You cannot break me.