gotta let you go, no use in fighting this fight

Started off grand,

& ended in ruins.

Thought you were the one,

never knew what we were doing.

Didn't know when to stop all of your games,

& you left me here,

left me without any shame.

So the truth came out,

you couldn't promise me the love

that I was pouring out for you.

& when you went away,

I couldn't get you out of my mind.

Oh, I was broken down for you.

500 days, I know it wasn't the best

but I won't ever forget,

no I won't ever forget you.

I gotta be frank---

I can't imagine me with anyone other than you.

You had me feeling like my dreams came true.

You made me feel good like no one else existed,

like summer was here everyday of the year,

& that was just my wishful thinking.

So the truth came out,

you promised someone else the love

that I was pouring out for you.

& then you went away,

I couldn't get you out of my mind.

I was broken down for you.

500 days, I know it wasn't the best

but I won't ever forget,

no I won't ever forget you.

There is a light & it never goes out.

There is a promise & I don't mean to scream & shout,

but there is a fog & it's blocking that light.

Gotta let you go, no use in fighting this fight.

500 days, I know it wasn't the best

but I won't ever forget,

no I won't ever forget you.

500 days, I know it wasn't the best

but I won't ever forget,

no I won't ever regret you.

-AJ RAFAEL

how do you find the words to say, to say goodbye?

Same way how you walked into my life & became someone important,

slowly but surely you're becoming just another person in my life...

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up & you're ok?

I have nothing to lose. I already lost you.

Your mistakes, they won't chase you.

But your lies, your tricks, & the people you hurt,

they will be around for a while.

It's better to forget & be happy than to remember & be sad.

"We don't pick who we fall in love with

& it never happens like it should."

-No Strings Attached

It hurts to love someone when we can't tell them how we really feel

because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing.

We get jealous when we have no right to feel that way.

We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it.

Although our hearts are breaking in silence,

we still continue to love them somehow in this hurtful love,

there is still hope of having simple moments with them

even if it means just being a friend.

Go for someone who is not only proud to have you,

but will also take every risk just to be with you.

The one who really wants to be with you will make effort, not excuses.

The only reason why it's always the one you love that hurt you

is because if you didn't love them, you wouldn't care.

Sometimes you have to act like you don't care even when you do care a lot.

You come to the point of giving up when the hopes that used to keep you going

becomes the reason for you to stop believing.

Just because we don't talk anymore,

doesn't mean that I don't care about you

any less than I did before.

Choices are important.

You have this day, which you'll never live through again.

It's your choice to what mood you are going to live it.

The greatest irony of love;

loving the right person at the wrong time,

having the wrong person when the time is right

& finding out you love someone right after

that person walks out of your life.

And sometimes you think you're already over a person,

but when you see them smile at you,

you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending

to be over them just to ease the pain of

knowing they will never be yours again.

For some, they think that letting go is one way

of expressing how much they love that person.

Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.

Most relationships tend to fail, but not because the absence of love.

Love is always present.

It's just that one was being loved too much

& the other was being loved too little.

As we all know, the heart is the center of the body,

but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason

why the heart is not always right.

Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love

only to discover that for them, we are just passing time,

while the one who truly loves us remains

either a friend or a stranger.

So here's a piece of advice:

LET GO when you're hurting TOO MUCH,

GIVE UP when love isn't ENOUGH,

& MOVE ON when things are not like before.

For sure there is someone out there who will love you even more.

When you have something you really love but it causes you pain,

God is just testing you to see if you are strong enough to hold it.

What is really yours will eventually be yours.

& what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

nostalgia is a bitch

I was cleaning out unneccessary pictures & videos on FB.

Lately, I'm trying to be more careful & watch what I post on here,

whether it's on Twitter, YouTube, Myspace, etc...

I like my privacy & I'm also thinking of my future.

Of course, looking back at old pics/vids brings back memories.

Nostalgia is a BITCH.

Thinking about where & how I was this time last year,

that wave of depression comes flooding back.

It's not as bad as before. I don't know if I'm getting used to it

or it's because I'm numb to it.

I think that's it. I'm numb.

I can't really feel anything anymore.

I'm just tired.

& times like these, I can't wish for anything else

but for August to come soon enough.

I wish I could just pick up & GO.

But I know that I'm going to need all this time

& use it as much as I can to prepare for this big move.

This is HUGE for me & I must say I am absolutely

positively terrified. But I'm going.

I'm doing it. I need to.

& maybe I'm running away from something

like I always do.

But I'm also running towards something

I should've done five years ago.

I'm scared.

& I wish you still cared.

I don't miss you as much anymore,

I can feel you slipping away,

I can feel you forgetting me.

& I'm numb.

I wish I didn't care so much.

I wish it was easy like it is for you.

I just thought I at least meant something to you.

I thought I did. I guess I was wrong.

I look forward & just think about how my life would be like

months from now, even as far as next year.

I hope I'm happy. God, I sure do hope so.

If not, then my feelings win.

They'll end up being right,

that I will never feel this way about anyone ever again.

That's discouraging & hopeless...

Nostalgia is a bitch.

This place reminds me of you.

All the memories have faded & yet,

you're still here.

It's been so long and I still can't let you go...

Nothing makes me happy anymore.

How do I keep holding on to someone who could care less about me?

Dear heart,

Quit telling me not to give up.

& brain, stop listening to heart.

I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart. But you came around then you knocked me off the ground from the start. You put your arms around me & I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me & I'm home. How many times will you let me change my mind & turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown. I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me cuz I'm already falling. I'll never let our love get so close. You put your arms around me and I'm home. The world is coming down on me & I can't find a reason to be loved. I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone. You put your arms around me & I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...

-"Arms" by Christina Perri

every single day, this is how i feel

letting go is never easy

i hate how we never got the chance to see what we could've been.

i hate how i know i'm not over you & how i pretend to be.

"The goal of any surgery is total recovery, to come out better than you were before.

Some patients heal quickly & feel immediate relief, for others,

the healing happens gradually, & it's not until months or even years later that you realize,

you don't hurt anymore. So the challenge, after any surgery is to be patient.

But if you can make it through the first week & months, if you believe that healing is possible,

then you can get your life back....but that's a big IF."

~Grey's Anatomy

it hurts to know someone you cared about so much isn't even a part of your life anymore.

It really brings you down when you know someone is getting bored of you.

It's not even the thought of you being boring that hurts,

it's the thought of that person once being so interested in you,

who once thought you were so cool, who once paid a lot of attention to you,

who had a lot of things to say & do with you.

What hurts is how all of that could just vanish.

Everyday is a test. Everyday that we pass our test,

God lets us live for another day.

Sometimes it's very difficult & painful.

Never give up when you still want to try.

Never give up when you can still take it.

Never say you don't love them, when you can't let go.

I guess I never let you go, because in the back of my mind, I still believe that someday we'll get our second chance. Worrying is just a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It just messes with your mind & steals your happiness. When you know for a fact that you're drifting from someone, & there's just completely nothing you can do about it. You can try to talk it out, but later on, before you know it, they're gone. You'll miss them & those moments you two had. You'll eventually breakdown & realize that you needed them much more than you realized you did, you'll realize how much of an impact they made in your life, & how much you really need them. You'll be reminded of them from everyday things that go on in your life. There they go...poof. I hate when you talk to someone every single day & then it just stops. All of a sudden neither of you two say a word to each other. I'm done. But I'm not giving up hope. Maybe one day we'll be together, but clearly this is not our time.

Sometimes you have to forget what's gone,

appreciate what still remains,

& look forward to what's coming next.

It fucking sucks when someone you're into isn't as excited when they see you,

doesn't have as much to say when you guys talk,

shortens the long phone conversations you guys used to have,

doesn't cancel other plans to make time for you as often,

doesn't give you the same look they used to.

It feels like, they found another person to do all those things with.

All she really wants is for you to finally get the nerve to

say how you really feel about her. That way, when you look at her,

she's not still second guessing what you really mean.

I'm done looking for happiness, love, or the right answers.

If it's meant to be, it'll find me.

No matter how many times I get hurt because of you, I won't leave you.

Because even if I have a hundred reasons to leave,

I'll always look for that one reason to fight for you.

I'm sorry for...

• Being annoying because I want to talk to you.
• Being needy because I miss you.
• Being emotional because I care about you.
• Being insecure because I'm afraid to lose you.

Do what you feel in your heart is right - for you'll be criticized anyway.

You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Everytime I want to give up on him,

there's always something inside telling me to give it time.

i will never live freely without your trace

it's tough when someone special ignores you.

it's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind.

if you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words.

the higher you build walls around your heart,

the harder you fall when someone tears them down. Don't fucking put me second when I always put you first.

You never know how much something means to you,

until you have to let it go.

i wish i could go back to when i met you, & walk away...

A Real Friendship or Relationship.

Has fights. Has trust. Has faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has sweet smiles.

Has genuine laughter. Has snorts because of the laughter.

Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments.

Has patience. Has communication. Has secrets. Has jealousy.

And most importantly, love.

This is all just a mess that turns out beautiful

& an experience that can never be forgotten.

I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection.

Love cannot be measured by how long you wait,

it's about how well you understand why you're waiting.

I'm not going anywhere. This is it for me. You're it for me,

& I can't pretend to feel any less than I do. I'm sorry, I just can't.

Love doesn't always have a happy ending.

Just because you love someone so much,

doesn't mean they are the right one for you.

When the person we love leaves us, the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs...

for they left the only person who would never give up on them.

Sometimes you just need to be with the person who makes you smile.

Even if it means waiting.

It stopped hurting when I realized, I don't care anymore.

You're not losing sleep over it, so why should I?

Life is confusing. One day you can be on top of the world,

the next day; at the bottom of the ocean.

One of the hard things in life is when you know inside your heart

that you love someone, & you run out of reasons to

fight for what you feel.

I cried last night, not because I missed him or even wanted him,

but because I finally realized that I am going to be alright without him.

The past can hurt. So either run from it or learn from it.

I've finally learned what life is all about:

Hanging on when your heart has had enough

& giving more when you feel like giving up.

"Don't be afraid to fall in love. It's the only thing that matters in life.

Fall in love with as many things as possible."

The things that last forever, take forever.

God answers in 3 ways: He says yes & gives you what you want,

He says no & gives you something better,

or He says, wait & gives you the best.