you start to wonder why you're here not there, & you'd give anything to give what's fair but fair ain't what you really need

why is it that after my birthday things ALWAYS go downhill?? i hate this damn month...absolutely hate it. i cannot wait til summer gets here..screw spring..summer come already! so my birthday was AMAZING! after having such a shitty past couple of weeks, i couldn't have asked for a better birthday! i got pulled over for supposively "running a stop sign" BULL!!!! asshole cop..he let me go though with a warning since it was my special day. i had dinner with one of my bests moaz then unexpectedly had a SURPRISE party at lizeth's house. Half of the people there i did not expect to be there since i haven't seen them in so long. we partied it up and danced and i fell while "getting low" LOL only i would do that of course...then about maybe half an hour into the party..the cops knocked on the door. DAMN! two years in a row cops came to my party! well they gave us a warning to turn the music down..but yea right like we were gonna do that! so we relocated 5 minutes away to carlos' house. FUN! CAKE in the face..then more dancing..and pictures taken....until about 4-5am..we decided to leave and go to IHOP. the next night went out with lizeth to 1223. hung out with sheldon..went to ultrabar then back to 1223...danced the night away, then we all went to fuddrucker's to eat since we were hungry. sunday went to ON THE BORDER with a few peeps and drank a little. All in all it was FUN and i would never forget it =D of course birthday weekend is over so time to get my head out of the clouds and back to reality. stressing yet once again about school...and being broke..i really need money. i haven't work in about two weeks. more bad news...i won't be coming home to the Philippines in April as planned. It's obvious from the very beginning that both my parents did not want me to go home. well, mission accomplished! tell me mom and dad...are you happy now? i'm extremely upset...it's not fair. i haven't been home in about 9 years. I WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY...I WANT TO SEE OLD FRIENDS. can't they understand that? on top of that, my grandpa is not doing very well and might not be able to live for very long. i wanna see him! they keep saying...oh just go another time...WHEN?!!? when..tell me...because everytime i'm suppose to go home something always come up and i end up not going. you've been putting it off and pushing it back for NINE years. it is completely unfair that my dad gets to go home every couple of months and my mom gets to go in April. when will i get to go see everybody? *sigh* i can't wait til spring break..i need to get away from here..from everything