i won't let you close enough to hurt me

I won't fight to keep you

when you can't take the time

to show me you want me.

it's about chasing the things

you think are truly worth it

even if they don't happen.

Empty fields move me so much more than rooms filled up with friends.

The way the trees look dead reminds me that there's more to life than living.

& maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you.

If I surrender to this feeling, maybe all the pains & aches will go.

We were never lovers & we will never be now.

I do not regret that, however, I regret

the conversations we never had,

the time we did not spend together.

I regret that I never told him that he made me happy

when I was in his company.

The world was better for his being in it.

These things alone do I now regret: things left unsaid.

I don't get it, I did everything in the book. I ignored you, I avoided you, I pretended, I faked it, I lied about it. I can't get over you, it's officially impossible. If we ever cross paths again, give me a hint at what you did that got you over what we had so fast, I need guidance.

& I'm done hoping that we could work it out.

I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels,

letting you drag my heart around.

I'm done thinking that you could ever change.

I know my heart will never be the same,

but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.

Even on my weakest days I get a lil bit stronger.

I'm not saying that I'm giving up,

I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to,

cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word.

Maybe I'll get it right someday.

For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try.

I feel helpless for the most part,

but I'm learning to open my eyes.

& the sad truth of the matter is, I'll never get over it,

but I'm gonna try to get better

& overcome each moment in my own way.

I so want to get back on track,

& I'll do whatever it takes, even if it kills me.

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.

There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

Here's a lesson for every single girl out there:

Never, ever settle.

You may think you aren't gorgeous, smart,

& have too many insecurities to count.

But there is going to be someone in the world

who truly loves you for you.

Don't ever think that you've got to put up with some boy's shit

because he's the first one in a long time to show some interest.

You are all beautiful in your own individual way,

so never lower your standards.

I lied when swearing that this year I won't need anyone.

And we fall like shooting stars & autumn leaves,

stay up later than the streetlights,

promising what never could be.

But I can't be anything without you.

I can't be anything without you by my side,

& it just doesn't feel right sleeping alone tonight.

And now I lie awake pining over the words you used to say,

& wondering what they ever meant to you.

We fall, we stand, we cope, we heal, we hope, we pray, we sing,

we steal these lines from the books of hopeless heroes,

& count on someone else to save us all.

Here's to the girls,

the ones that stayed up late,

hoping he'd text back & made up lies pretending

he was too busy to make themselves feel better.

Here's to the ones that gave him their whole heart

just to have it smashed.

The ones who couldn't even talk to

their best friends about it because it seemed

stupid not to be over him yet.

Here's to the ones who stayed up

crying nights in a row, listening to the music

that fit their mood, and still hoped he'd come back.

Don't you want a guy who'll forget about

all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

Of course I miss him.

I want him.

I need him.

I wake up every morning

knowing with every breath I take,

that I was made for him.

I find it funny how there are so many others

who would catch me if I fall,

but I don't want them to...

I want you to catch me.

You're the one who caught my attention. You're the one that's always on my mind.

Your smile, your eyes, & the way you laugh.

The only sad part is, you feel the same way about someone else.

Please, don't keep me guessing.

Tell me how you feel, tell me it's done,

tell me you want me still.

Tell me anything.

Just talk to me.

When you truly care for someone,

you don't look for faults.

You don't look for answers.

You don't look for mistakes.

Instead, you fight the mistakes.

You accept the faults & you overlook the excuses.

The measure of love is when you love without measure.

There are rare chances that you'll meet the person

you love & who loves you in return.

So once you have it, don't ever let go.

The chance might never come your way again.

If you truly love someone,

you will love them through all the phases they go through. Because we are people and we change,

& we'll keep changing our entire lives.

And if you love that person,

you'll realize they could never turn into someone

you aren't completely in love with anymore.

I'd rather have tough situations with you,

than perfection with someone else.

And I know he loved me then,

I swear to God he did.

It's the way he'd bite my lower lip,

push his hips against my hips,

& dig his nails so deep into my skin.

It's probably the wrong time to tell you.

But, well, maybe it's the perfect time.

I realize how incredibly confusing things

are between us right now.

I can't even begin to explain our relationship.

You probably can't either.

But I just want you to know that if you ever need me,

I'll always be here for you.

All you have to do is ask.

I fucking miss you.

All day,

everyday.

& you can't even imagine

how pathetic it makes me feel

because I don't even know

if you miss me back.

All we have is now.

Be positive.

Be present.

And right now where you are,

I guess you're over it.

But I can't see

how you without me

could possibly make any sense.

I miss you more than I can bare,

but we had our time together.

I have to let you go.

I always wonder why birds choose

to stay in the same place

when they can fly anywhere on the earth.

Then I ask myself the same question.

People who make us happy

are never the people you expect.

If you don't want to talk to me,

then just tell me.

It hurts a lot less than

you just ignoring me.

Some people come into our lives & quickly go.

Some stay for a while, leave footprints in

our hearts, & we are never ever the same.

Do you know how many times I fucking cried for you?

I don't play second option, so either pick me or lose me.

Do more of what makes you happy.

I think about him a lot...you know how it is.

Start wondering if he ever thinks about me,

and if he does, is it the same?

I've got something to say to you,

does it hurt that we don't talk anymore?

You know that it hurts me too,

the way I'm feeling when you don't call.

"So I won't let you close enough to hurt me.

No I won't ask you, you to just desert me.

I can't give you what you think you gave me.

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables."

Regrets come in all shapes & sizes.

Some are small, like when we

do a bad thing for a good reason.

Some are bigger like when

we let down a friend.

Some of us escape the pains of regret

by making the right choice.

Some of us have little time for regret

because we're looking forward to the future.

Sometimes we have to fight to

come to terms with the past,

& sometimes we bury our regret

by promising to change our ways.

But our biggest regrets are not for

the things we did but for

all the things we didn't do,

things we didn't say that could

have saved someone we cared about.

Especially when we can see a dark storm

that's headed their way.