i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss you.

It's funny how the less you talk,

the more you begin to realize it wasn't meant to be.

It's funny how slow it began,

and how fast it ended.

It's funny how in the beginning he liked you,

but in the end, he liked someone else.

It's funny how he meant everything to you,

but you meant nothing to him.

Isn't it ironic? We ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us,

love those who hurt us, & hurt those who love us.

Now it's back to the way we started. Strangers.

Sometimes, some people say so many things

that you end up wondering how much of it is

actually true & how much of it is bullshit

they tell you so that they can keep you

in their lives.

I didn't give up because I didn't care,

I gave up because you didn't.

I miss how you never gave a shit, but you always seemed to care.

I miss the way you would be such a dick, but you were somehow always there.

If a guy wants you, nothing can keep him away from you.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Ignorant men don't know what good they hold

in their hands until they've flung it away.

Don't worry, he'll miss you.

You're the best he could get, & he blew it.

Don't let him make you think for one second

that this was your fault, because it isn't.

He screwed up & you did absolutely nothing wrong.

You gave him your heart, you trusted him to keep it

& to protect it, but he couldn't.

Honestly, he's not mature enough.

He's not smart enough.

If he was smart, he would have

cared for you with every fiber of his being

& been with you every spare second he could,

but he didn't, & now you're gone.

Don't you cry.

Don't call him telling him you miss him.

I'm stuck in a thousand moments.

Each involves the moment I fell in love with you.

There were a lot of them.

When the past calls, let it go to voicemail...

it's got nothing new to say.

I want you back in my life but I just can't have you.

You already moved on and clearly I didn't.

But I like to tell myself that I have because I believe

that when we tell ourselves the same thing

over and over again, there comes a time when we actually believe it.

I miss you. Come back to my life please.

And sometimes, someone can mean so much to you,

not even the truth can change your mind.

Everyone tells you that you deserve better,

but no one is willing to give it to you.

One day you will realize

how much I was there for you

when I'm gone.

thank you, you made my mind up for me when you started to ignore me

Go ahead & leave me; I'm prepared this time.

Sometimes, you just have to try not to care

no matter how much you do

because sometimes you mean nothing

to someone who means everything to you.

Don't lose yourself in attempt to hold on to someone

who doesn't care about losing you.

My mind has fucked me over more times

than any man ever could.

I hope you miss me, but don't you dare try coming back to me.

I wish you missed me as much as I miss you.

Sometimes I wish I could look into the future

& see if the tears and unhappiness are worth it in the end.

"Deciding to get back together with someone is

a complicated decision. Just remember that

the person who, not long before, looked you

in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all

your qualities, & told you that he was no longer

in need of your company."

~He's Just Not That Into You

Be thankful for every heartbreak, for they were planned.

They come into your life just to reveal another layer

of yourself to you, and then leave. Their purpose is

to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit,

show you your obstacles and addictions,

break your heart open so new light can get in,

make you so desperate and out of control that you

have to transform your life. And you do.

i will survive...without you

don't you dare decide to come back

"I've decided you're not worth it.

I won't shed another tear over you.

Why on earth would I cry over someone

who could care less about me?

That only makes me seem pathetic.

And I'm not. I never was.

I was only in love with someone who

didn't have the capability of loving me back."

you have to forget about the one who forgot about you... I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU, just have to convinced myself we never met.

don't ask me why, i just can't say goodbye

I wish I could've walked away first.

I hate being the one walked away from.

I mean I knew eventually it was going to end,

I just had no idea when.

I guess that last time was really going to be the last time.

I guess it's a good memory to leave on.

It just sucks because I wish there could have been more.

And it just hurts because there could have been more,

but for some reason it didn't happen.

I don't know that reason,

and now I never will.

I'm just going to let it be,

take is as it comes,

& watch it as it leaves.

"I wonder if he lies awake at night missing me the way I miss him." You gotta know what you have when you have it. Not when you lose it.

"Life is a nightmare."

so fill your heart with what's important & be done with all the rest.

I hope you're happy.

You don't just "get over him." You either still love him or you never did.

Why am I still killing myself over you?

You're not here for me anymore.

Why are you still on my mind?

Am I on your mind too?

Every time I see you just makes it

a thousand times worse.

And I don't know where to turn to next.

All I know is that I miss the person

I thought I knew best.

I don't need to be your everything

but I wished you thought of me

when I need it most.

I wish you actually cared.

I want to explain how exhausted I am.

Even in my dreams.

How I wake up tired.

How I'm being drowned by some kind of black wave.

I know more than you think I do, I'm not stupid.

I'm sick of being hurt, and being thrown around like I mean nothing.

I'm done, I officially give up.

There is no one to blame, I gave you plenty of chances &

you threw them all back in my face.

People can only keep chasing you for so long,

& in the end I need to get back to my own life.

You'll find someone...well, clearly you already have.

I'm in no need of use to you, and well

I'll do quite fine on my own.

Have a nice life, and I hope everything goes well,

and I mean that.

I really do, I'm not bitter anymore.

I just have plenty of things in my life I need to figure out,

& I don't need more weight on my shoulders than I already have.

It was fun while it lasted.

Thank you for making me feel

nervous & excited,

and for being someone

I wanted to see everyday

for this short time

& I've felt something

I never felt before.

I will work on forgetting you.

If you really want something,

you'll make it happen.

If not, you'll make an excuse.

Trust your friends when they say he's not worth it.

They see things you refuse to.

I'm not even upset, hurt, or angy anymore.

I'm just tired.

I'm tired of putting in more effort than receive.

I'm tired of holding on for nothing.

I'm tired of believing all your lies.

I'm tired of you proving me wrong every time.

I'm tired of getting my hopes up

& being disappointed again.

How many times do we have to forgive

someone just because we don't want to lose them?

"Love is friendship that has caught fire.

It is quite understanding,

mutual confidence,

sharing and forgiving.

It is loyalty through good & bad times.

It settles for less than perfection

& makes allowances for

human weaknesses."

~The Quiet

It's never too late to go back & fix things

that didn't work out as planned.

All of us make mistakes &

we hurt the people we love.

It is possible to fix it.

It won't be easy of course,

but if you care enough about someone,

you'll go around the world and back,

just to make things work.

100th post

"But what if I'm the one for him....?"