you hurt me, but do i deserve this...

*Note to Self*

• Everthing is going to work out. Your dreams & hopes will find their place in this world.
• Smile freely. Your smile lights up your face. Your smile is one easy way to make someone's day.
• It will get better. Give yourself and life time.
• Your fears are only as powerful as you allow them to be. Don't allow them to paralyze you from living your life.
• I know you get lonely but that doesn't mean that you are alone. There are so many people who love and need you. Loneliness comes and goes. It won't stay forever.
• It's okay not to be okay all the time.
• Don't be afraid of the work ahead of you. That's how you learn, how you grow, and most importantly how you get to where you want to be.
• Getting lost is how you get found.
• Don't be afraid to take detours.
• Vulnerability is not weakness.
• Your life doesn't revolve around a man. Your story is about love of self before any other kind of love. Please don't forget that.
• Your scars may not be physical but they are still there. They are a part of you. Reminders of internal battles you have won. Don't ignore them or feel ashamed of them. They are a part of your story but they don't define you.
• You are beautiful. Really, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. I know some days you don't feel beautiful but even then YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Let yourself embrace your beauty. Don't dampen it with negative thoughts or cruel words.
• If you don't believe in yourself, and I mean wholeheartedly believe in yourself, no one else will. You've got to have that faith and confidence in who you are, what you want, & how you choose to live. You have to believe in yourself. Your dreams, your talents, & your hopes for this life you have.
• Don't just give good advice, take it too. Teach and learn. Learn and teach.
• Do the things you love because you love them. Nothing else matters. Not compliments, recognition, acknowledgement, fame, or fortune. All that matters is how the things you love make you feel. Don't shape what you love to fit into other people's idea of what it should be. You are the painter, the canvas, the muse, the paintbrush, and the paint. You have all the ingredients to create something of your own.
• There are no bad days, only bad moments.
• Choose your attitude wisely.
• Don't limit your happiness. There is no definition to what it means to be happy. You decide what your happiness looks, feels, and sounds like. It's up to you. It always has been.
• You are imperfect and that is a beautiful thing. Stop trying to deny that.
• Everything is not about you. Everything is not about them. Find a middle ground between those two extremes.
• Life is a give and take relationship. I hope you give more than you take.
• Everyone has to start at the beginning. You are no exception.
• You are not broken. You are not shattered. You are not a lost cause.
• Your art matters. Whether it's your poetry, stories, songs, or drawings, they matter. You matter. No one has to tell you that for it to be the truth. Have faith in yourself and the things you do.
• You are loved.
• Don't bottle your feelings inside.
• You are more than good enough.
• Don't hide your sorrows.
• Your life is meant to be lived.
• Don't be anyone other than you.
• Take care of yourself. Mind, body, and soul.
• Make time for yourself to do some self-pampering.
• Be the best version of you. The best you can be.
• Mistakes and failures are not things to be ashamed of. They are the catalysts of growth and wisdom.
• You are the main character in your story. Stop sitting on the sidelines.
• Laugh without restraint
• Dream without worry.
• Love yourself the way you want to be loved by others.
• Breathe. In and out. Breathe.
• This is your time. Be who you want to be.

you NEED nothing

Everyday I wake up & I have this ache in my chest;

and sometimes I just sleep in, because I know

when I wake up you're not going to be there.

~One Tree Hill

"As great as we have been, I think I would be better off if I let you go.

See, you know you have me, but I can't say the same for you.

I don't know if I have you, or if I ever will.

That's what breaks my heart. I can't spend my entire life waiting for you."

"I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. So I'm asking you, if you don't see a future for us, if you're not in this, please, just end it. Because I can't, I'm in it. Put me out of my misery." Don't be cold to someone you care about, cause indifference hurts more than angry words.

Can't lose what you never had, can't keep what's not yours,

& can't hold on to something that doesn't want to stay.

Sorry, but I don't need part-time people in my life.

You're either with me or you're not.

You can't just come & go as you please.

You have to get hurt. That's how you learn.

The strongest people out there,

the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile,

those are the people who have fought the toughest battles.

Because they've decided that they're not going to

let anything hold them down, they're moving on.

An advice from a nurse:

Wounds will not heal if you urgently put bandaids on it.

Sometimes you just have to let it bleed,

give it some space for healing.

And when you think your wounds are already cleansed,

that's the time you can use a band-aid for it.

Remember, the more you cover yourself from pain,

the more infected you are.

Replace every "what if" with "why the fuck not?"

If a girl understands your bullshit,

sticks around through all your mistakes,

& smiles even though you've done nothing to her,

then it's obvious she's a keeper.

But it's also obvious you don't deserve her.

It's not wrong to give it all when you love.

It's not wrong to love a person so much.

Sometimes, the only wrong thing

is the person you love.

If God brings you to it,

He'll bring you through it.

There's no point of leaving if you have every intention of coming back.

In the end, you always run back to the people

that were there in the very beginning.

"Relationships are never easy.

Some days you're going to wake up &

that love you know you have for the person

in the bed next to you, isn't going to come naturally.

We always say "no one told us it was going to be this hard"

but they did. We choose not to listen because

it seems so unreasonable that one day,

you will find yourself doubting your love for that person.

The only way you can make a relationship last

is if you work at it everyday & never give up on it.

Because if you fight and argue and quarrel with that

person & still can't imagine leaving them,

then you love them.

And that's the kind of love that's forever."

Sometimes, no matter how long or hard

you love someone,

they'll never love you back.

And sometimes, you have to be ok with that.

I'd rather love someone I can't have

than have someone I can't love.

The thing that hurts you the most,

is the only thing that'll heal you.

There are so many things I'm not sure of in life,

but in all certainty at this very minute,

all I know is that I miss him.

Just because you miss certain people,

doesn't mean you're supposed to be with them.

Good things come to those who wait.

Sometimes what I'm looking for comes when I'm not looking at all.

Real anger will typically stem from a misunderstand.

No one likes to be misinterpreted

yet no one likes to communicate.

The best way to find yourself is

to lose yourself in doing what you love!

Second chances are totally useless

if you still don't know what went wrong

& didn't learn anything from your mistakes.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life,

is it's that you NEED nothing.

You can want something, you can even dream about

how perfect your life would be if you had it,

but wanting something and needing something

are two different things. You NEED water to live.

You want someone to grow old with.

People can argue the reason for existence

is to fall in love with someone, someone you want

to spend every millisecond with, someone you "NEED."

But let's face it, love isn't the only thing in the world.

You grow apart from people, you get sick of people,

you walk by someone you dated (for a week or for two years)

and you don't say a word. You believe and believe and believe

that there is "someone out there for everyone" but is that really true?

You can say that this girl (or boy) is your everything,

but when you put yourself in a position like that, if they leave,

you have nothing...So argue all you want to people,

saying that you "NEED" someone, but you need no one.

You need yourself, everyone else is just here to make

time more enjoyable. You can want anybody til the day you die,

but you'll never need them in your life.