letting go is never easy

i hate how we never got the chance to see what we could've been.

i hate how i know i'm not over you & how i pretend to be.

"The goal of any surgery is total recovery, to come out better than you were before.

Some patients heal quickly & feel immediate relief, for others,

the healing happens gradually, & it's not until months or even years later that you realize,

you don't hurt anymore. So the challenge, after any surgery is to be patient.

But if you can make it through the first week & months, if you believe that healing is possible,

then you can get your life back....but that's a big IF."

~Grey's Anatomy

it hurts to know someone you cared about so much isn't even a part of your life anymore.

It really brings you down when you know someone is getting bored of you.

It's not even the thought of you being boring that hurts,

it's the thought of that person once being so interested in you,

who once thought you were so cool, who once paid a lot of attention to you,

who had a lot of things to say & do with you.

What hurts is how all of that could just vanish.

Everyday is a test. Everyday that we pass our test,

God lets us live for another day.

Sometimes it's very difficult & painful.

Never give up when you still want to try.

Never give up when you can still take it.

Never say you don't love them, when you can't let go.

I guess I never let you go, because in the back of my mind, I still believe that someday we'll get our second chance. Worrying is just a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It just messes with your mind & steals your happiness. When you know for a fact that you're drifting from someone, & there's just completely nothing you can do about it. You can try to talk it out, but later on, before you know it, they're gone. You'll miss them & those moments you two had. You'll eventually breakdown & realize that you needed them much more than you realized you did, you'll realize how much of an impact they made in your life, & how much you really need them. You'll be reminded of them from everyday things that go on in your life. There they go...poof. I hate when you talk to someone every single day & then it just stops. All of a sudden neither of you two say a word to each other. I'm done. But I'm not giving up hope. Maybe one day we'll be together, but clearly this is not our time.

Sometimes you have to forget what's gone,

appreciate what still remains,

& look forward to what's coming next.

It fucking sucks when someone you're into isn't as excited when they see you,

doesn't have as much to say when you guys talk,

shortens the long phone conversations you guys used to have,

doesn't cancel other plans to make time for you as often,

doesn't give you the same look they used to.

It feels like, they found another person to do all those things with.

All she really wants is for you to finally get the nerve to

say how you really feel about her. That way, when you look at her,

she's not still second guessing what you really mean.

I'm done looking for happiness, love, or the right answers.

If it's meant to be, it'll find me.

No matter how many times I get hurt because of you, I won't leave you.

Because even if I have a hundred reasons to leave,

I'll always look for that one reason to fight for you.

I'm sorry for...

• Being annoying because I want to talk to you.
• Being needy because I miss you.
• Being emotional because I care about you.
• Being insecure because I'm afraid to lose you.

Do what you feel in your heart is right - for you'll be criticized anyway.

You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Everytime I want to give up on him,

there's always something inside telling me to give it time.